Fingerless glove

looking for what's missing... I'm a knitting, spinning, mother of teenagers with a big dog, a small cat, minus the lovely rabbit Meliflua.

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Location: Virginia, United States

Right now I'm listening to "An Irish Country Village" by Patrick Taylor, reading "Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake" by Anna Quindlen and knitting Wisconsin Wintersocks. And casting off the lace shawl I've been working on since I last posted.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Letting Go

My name is Gail and I am addicted to Free Cell.

You know, the solitaire card game that comes preloaded on your computer. I'm not sure what attracts me, but I suspect it's some subconscious quest for perfectionism. (I have conscious perfectionism issues, too, but that's another story.) Rumor has it that -- unlike most low percentage solitaire games -- every single, possible Free Cell layout is winnable. And there are thousands. I have yet to find one that wasn't winnable and I've played thousands. (My current winning streak is 817. I am not far off when I call this an addiction.)

It's like the satisfaction you feel from untying a knot. You work at it for a few seconds, poke and prod a bit, see what's holding things up, then suddenly all the cards go flying up and you're home free.

I rationalize that it's not a complete waste of time. It's good practice for seeing patterns, for keeping part of my brain tuned up. And it's great for when I want to think about something that's bothering me, but I don't want to think about it too hard, so I use the extra brain power for Free Cell.

It could be worse. I could be doing it in Vegas.

But like any exercise, if you run too long, you get shin splints. Or carpal tunnel syndrome. I'm not surprised that we've come to the second week of January before I was able to distill my New Year's resolution. (Or as MamaCate and January One suggest, "Intention.") This year, in a thousand tiny baby steps, I am letting go: letting go of clutter both real and imagined.

I've already waded through my stuff once for my knitting guild's soon to be annual Stash Swap & Sale. Once I had the few extra dollars in my hand, I realized (with some help from wise Mary Ann), "What I really wanted was just to get the stuff out of my house & hopefully to someone who'll use it. Should I give this to Knitters Without Borders or the Heifer Fund?"

Do you have yarn in your life that you don't really love? If you make a mistake in your knitting -- a white stitch where there should have been a blue one, a twisted stitch or a contrary cable --127 rows back, does your eye go straight to that spot instead of to the rest of your beautiful shawl? Do you torture yourself over missed opportunities? Do you proofread your blog 3 or 4 times? Do you save things you don't really want because "you might need them someday?" Do you wear dull clothes because they are perfectly serviceable?

Life is not too short; it is too precious. I am letting go.

I think I'll start by giving up Free Cell.

2 Comments:

Anonymous smf said...

Free Cell addiction???? Like father, like daughter!

3:28 PM  
Anonymous cassie said...

what the heck?! what is the point of giving up a card game you like? to have time for doing other things you like? that is silly.

12:42 PM  

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